Poly-Kink Relationships are intimate relationships that involve more than two people and/or in which the sexual interests/expressions of those involved fall outside of mainstream culture’s traditional expectations. Common terms: polyamory, consensual or ethical non-monogamy (CNM or ENM), open marriage, swinging, BDSM, Fetish, Kink
I provide poly kink couples therapy in Durham NC. Also, I work with poly-kink individual clients. Whether you are curious about, identify with, or practice poly-kink, you are welcome here. I am sex positive, allied, and affirming of non-traditional relationships between informed and consenting adults.
When You’re In Relationship Conflict
That last argument really stung. Every time you think you’ve talked everything through in advance, something slips through the cracks bites you. In fact, you can’t help but feel disrespected and unappreciated. If only you could get past the hurt feelings and reach a trusting and connected feeling in your relationship/s, but compromise feels slippery. You are so tired of being in conflict, but you don’t want to give up on this. You’ve put too much of yourself into it.
Exploring the Unknown
Some people come to see me because they’re curious about how to get started in the non-traditional relationship realm. If that’s you, perhaps you want to dip your toes into swinging, open marriage, or BDSM. You are looking to start this adventure with clear expectations and mitigate the risk of hurt feelings.
You might be worried about being shamed or rejected if you share a kink you want to try with your partner. Or, you might be frustrated that you want to do poly and your partner doesn’t–or vice versa. Therapy is an ideal place to learn how to build trusting communication in your relationship, so that you can share things you aren’t sure your partner will be into or agree with.
Common Conflicts in Non-Traditional Relationships
Non-traditional relationships struggle with many of the issues as traditional ones:
- unspoken expectations
- feeling ignored or excluded
- feeling smothered
- fear of missing out (FOMO)
- fearing not being good enough
- infidelity
- differing libidos
- differing sexual interests or limits
- differing comfort levels around sharing and behaving within your relationship/s
- differing expectations around fidelity
- money arguments
- parenting disagreements
More Than Two People In Relationship
If there are more than two people involved in an intimate relationship, communication is more important than ever. Indeed, the relationship damage caused by the lack of honest and forthright communication will be more readily apparent and more intense if there are more than two involved.
Seeking A Therapist Who “Gets” You
The last thing you want is someone biased toward monogamous, straight, and vanilla. You certainly don’t want a therapist who doesn’t even know what to say to you. Even if you found a therapist with an open mind, if they lack experience in the poly-kink world, you would need to catch them up on SO much that you and your partner/s take for granted.
You want a therapist you can trust, who has the experience to understand where you’re coming from, who will listen without judgment. Also, you want a therapist who will help you navigate painful feelings and communicate in a constructive way, so that you can resolve the conflict in your relationship/s.
Reach Out For the Support You Need
Let’s work together to plan the goals you have for your relationship/s. I will guide you in the most effective style of communication with your partner/s, so that you can build toward your common relationship goals.
Join me for a FREE 20 MIN CONSULTATION and we can talk more about poly kink couples therapy in Durham NC!
Learn more about how I do COUPLES THERAPY!
